Go clean out your ears. How many times did you hear your mom or dad tell you that? I know I have to lovingly remind our older children rather frequently to go grab a q-tip so we can clean out theirs. And other times, in frustration of them responding to my question (which I KNOW they heard) with a quiet response of, “what’d you say mom?” or “huh?”…I will say in probably not as quite the most loving way…”GO clean out your ears.” Even though I know it isn’t their build-up of earwax that is preventing them from hearing me, it just seems like the natural response—and probably better than other things I could say. So now I know what you’re thinking….really Keeley, a blog post about earwax buildup and an apparent rant of your children’s obvious attempts at completely ignoring you?! Which might I also add, I think is a fairly common mom woe. Right?? Please tell me I’m not alone in this battle! “Huh?” “What Mom?” *blank stares* —- oh boy, if I had a nickel for every time I had one of those responses to my questions. *OK, rant over. Anyway, now for what this blog post is actually about…something that hit me square between the eyes this morning as I’m still amidst a bit of muck if you will. Something that needed to hit me because it’s critical to get us through difficult times. And that is a seemingly simple question. What are you choosing to listen to? In other words…what are you hearing?
We have two very clear things in this world we can believe. Either lies. Lies that come straight from the pit of hell. Or truth. Truth that comes from the most amazing, loving, gentle and merciful high King. There is nothing in between. As complicated as we try to make things…it’s really quite simple. Remember how my last blog post mentioned a roller coaster. Ok, well, I’m still on it but it’s starting to become less neck breaking and more gentle and gradual. Not because the circumstances or things that have happened are different or changed…but because I am purposing to listen only to truth. This morning God took a q-tip and began cleaning my ears. 🙂 How’s that for imagery? Yes, He loves us that much that he would even clean our ears. He knew just what I needed to hear. Today he used two different people to tell me the same thing. The first being the gentle voice of my husband, leaning over our bed telling me good-bye for the day. “I love you Keeley. I am so thankful to have you……….I treasure you!” <*insert one of those child like blank stares right about now and also the plausible thought of ‘huh?’, did I really just hear that correctly*> Simple words of truth…yet due to the lies that have swirled around in my head for so long my mind instantly thinks, nah, you aren’t a treasure. Look at your past. Look at where you’ve been. How can someone treasure YOU?! I didn’t catch it right that second because, well, let’s just say my ears have some buildup. So God tried again. This time through the voice of someone who also cares deeply for me and speaks giant sized portions of God’s truth into my life RIGHT when I need it most…”Keeley, you are a lovely gift.” BAM. It hit me. I finally heard it. Truth. OK God, I hear you. I was instantly taken back to what Justin said to me a couple of hours prior…”I treasure you”… “you are a lovely gift”…I recognized a theme here. My mind proceeded to have this little internal battle then I realized I was complicating it. No, I don’t deserve this kind of love all of the time, because let’s face it—none of us are perfect, squishy, lovable teddy bears ALL of the time. But that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that when Justin says that, he means it—because that’s just what he does……it’s as if he set’s himself on purpose to love me. No matter what has happened, no matter what will happen and no matter what……’I still love you’ he always says. Honestly, I used to cringe when I heard him say that for some reason…”I STILL love you”…because I heard negative in it. I heard lies. Now, on the blank space that hangs above our headboard, I want to make a sign that says just that in big capital letters: I STILL LOVE YOU. Because I love the truth in it. I love that when I hear Justin say this to me now, I am reminded of how God is speaking to me in it…….’don’t dwell on the lies, Keeley. Deserving or not, I STILL love you. There is nothing you have done or places you have gone that can change this fact. No matter what.’
NOW, as peachy and beautiful as that sounds……I want to tell you something else. This process of being remodeled, restored, renewed—-it hasn’t been so pretty. There have been days lately that it is the greatest struggle for me to get out of bed in the morning. I’m not kidding. The last time I felt this way was when I had just admitted to Justin how truly deep my addiction was and I that I needed help. I call them trenches. For me, they’re not pretty, but I’m realizing they’ve been pretty necessary. Because they’ve allowed me to see incredible nuggets of truth…about me, about others and most of all, about Jesus. They’ve helped teach me to listen—for the truth. But it is also when I am in these trenches I have to live life on purpose if you will. I have to purpose to listen. Purpose to love. This time, I had to purpose just to get out of bed—every. blasted. day. Because deep down, I knew if I stayed there, the lies that were replaying in my head and the subtle deceit of the enemy would define me. I purposed to read God’s word. Whether I felt like it or not. I purposed to go to the gym. And Lord knows I didn’t feel like doing that most days. After making the mistake of trying to relieve my pain in unhealthy ways, I purposed to confess that to others and do differently next time. I purposed to call someone when I felt as though the pain of feeling some of my life experiences that I never had allowed myself to feel was too much. I purposed to be here for my children. I purposed to lift my hands in praise even when my mouth couldn’t sing because I am overwhelmed with tears, because by golly, I can still lift my hands. Do you see what I’m getting at?? In order to hear God speaking sometimes…you have to live on purpose. Otherwise our minds get full of garbage and just plain cluttered. Our ears get full of buildup. Literally…and before you know it, we’re choosing not to hear God. And not because we’re knowingly throwing our middle finger up at him but because we have chosen to be complacent and unintentional. All too often we’re allowing time, past experiences and the world change us…define us. It’s a slippery slope and that’s why I’m telling you today—-in my most loving mom voice, go clean your ears!
So don’t let these subtle lies define you like they had me for far too long. Either knowingly or unknowingly. Ask God today—in full expectancy–that He reveal to you what lies you might be hearing or have heard in the past which are causing you to be unable to hear His truth. Because you see, he’s got some ear cleaning to do out there. Because if we can’t fully hear his truth then how are we supposed to live it? Time will change you folks. There’s no such thing as staying the same. So you get to choose. I chose a few weeks ago to ask Him that very same question. You know what he is telling me shall I choose to listen? That despite what many of my experiences in this world have pressed upon me……what people have said to me either by actual words or by their actions…that these lies couldn’t be farther from the truth. He is telling me over and over again: I DO have worth. I am forgiven. I do have a voice. I am treasured. And most of all, He STILL loves me.
So go ahead, grab a Q-Tip and get cleaning because I guarantee you, He’s trying to tell you something too. Question is, do you hear Him?
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.